Many of you probably already know, but we've been very busy the last couple of months preparing for a baby girl AND moving! Finally! We have lived in our new home for about 6 weeks now, which is crazy! In some ways it already feels like being stuck in Shattuck is a distant memory and in other ways it feels very surreal that we don't have to drive there anymore.
The week we moved was one of the craziest weeks of my life. Josh was at Kids Camp Sunday through Wednesday, I drove back and forth an hour both ways Monday and Tuesday to do crafts with the kids to come home and continue to work on packing. I worked Wednesday and Thursday while Josh then also continued to work on things in the house when he got home on Thursday. Thursday night we stayed up until 1:00am packing up our closets and filling our cars with things we didn't want rolling around in the back of the moving truck. Friday morning we got up at 5:00am to be ready for the movers who got there at 7:00am. They finished loading up the moving truck around 10:00am and that was a whirlwind as I still continued to throw things in boxes as they made their trips in and out of the house. (After having basically been packing up our house for the last two years, I am still amazed at how much we STILL had to pack. It is true that you really don't realize how much stuff you accumulate, or maybe I really am just that bad of a hoarder). My sister and mom came after they left and helped me deep clean the house while Josh drove to our new home to meet the movers and my dad to unload everything. We then closed on our Shattuck house at 1:00pm, then continued to unpack through the evening and most of Saturday. We took a break Sunday, for Father's Day and I guess, ya know, the Lord's day. The next day, Monday afternoon, we closed on our new home. I tell ya, being pregnant and moving is NO joke. I have never felt so tired in my life, but somehow I still pressed on and still was unable to sleep through the whole night each night. Preparing me for parenthood I guess.
That Saturday when everyone was at our new home, helping to unpack, I realized I forgot something at my parents house and drove basically down the street to their house to get it. As I drove back to my new home, I had a little cry to myself because I felt overjoyed that it no longer took me 40 minutes to drive from my home to theirs. It was the sweetest feeling. I just drove around in my car a bit thanking God so much for finally bringing us to this place- settling in a new home, starting a new life with a precious new baby on the way.
I know that not selling your home in comparison to like, most of life's obstacles is pretty insignificant, but I think just the timing of it with other things going on in our lives, in the middle of it, it felt like a giant in front of us. I don't want this to be a post about how hard we had it when we were struggling to sell our home, because we didn't, but I also want to be diligent to show God's faithfulness.
Almost 3 years ago, October 2015 to be exact, we decided we wanted to grow our family. A few months after that, in March 2016 Josh got his new job in our current church and we put our house up for sale in May 2016. Then, for the next two years we struggled with infertility along with this feeling of being unsettled in a home we didn't feel at home in anymore, and in a town all we did was drive to and from daily to basically just sleep at every night. I don't want to go into a lot of details, but growing up I always thought I'd have a lot of kids (we shall see!) and I also always wanted to adopt. Therefore, I figured if I wasn't able to have children, it wouldn't be that big of a deal to me. After going through a time of wanting a baby so badly and not being able to, I feel so foolish for thinking that. It's so much more painful then I ever could've imagined to feel like you are incapable of something that so many others seem to be able to have so easily. We thought many times we would just go ahead and start the adoption process, but after lots of research, it seemed very ill-advised to start on the process while also trying to move homes due to expenses with home studies and such. It just felt like our home not selling was the biggest roadblock in our way of having children all together. I had a lot of fears that maybe God didn't want us to have children if he was putting this obstacle in front of us even adopting, when we were so willing to.
Then, in January this year, (2 years, 3 months and 10 days later to be exact), after a week of having the worst "head cold" of my life, I took a pregnancy test, as I had done many times before, preparing myself to be sad, and it was positive! Out of shock I just texted a picture to Josh and said something like, "does this look positive?!" He immediately called me and we both just started laughing hysterically and crying at the same time like some crazy people over the phone. I wondered what the people in his office were thinking? I decided to go ahead and still take another test, that again was positive, and did some crazy dancing, laughing, crying around my house in my pajamas. THAT was one of the happiest moments of my life! Fast forward to 4-ish months later and we looked at a fellow church member's home that was moving to another town, and what can we say, we just really liked it and it felt right. Besides painting it crazy Molly colors, it didn't need any work and met all of my requirements in amount of bedrooms and bathrooms, having a separate utility room, a garage, a fireplace, very little carpet, a good amount of storage (for all of my hoarding), and big established trees. It is even located right behind one of my best friends' houses (sometimes we go in our backyards just to wave at each other). So we took a leap of faith and made an offer, which they accepted and a very kind family friend bought our little Shattuck home to use as a rental property. We owe them everything, but know they did it because they really just love God and wanted to bless us.
I know that in the big cities people commute an hour every day from their workplaces to their homes, but I feel like I just have sooooo much more time during the day now that it doesn't include driving so much. AND after I filled my car up with gas in the first week we moved, I still haven't had to fill it up again. We feel so so blessed to be in this house, to be making it our home, and to be preparing it for a little girl to grow up in. It already just feels like the perfect place for her as I look back at my own childhood and think of what hers will be like: here, close to our families, in the town we both grew up in, and in the church I grew up in. I've gotten so used to being pregnant, but so not used to the idea that I will really have a real human being here with us in just a few short months now. I feel so incredibly, overwhelmingly underprepared, and so freaking ecstatic all at once. She will be here right at the cusp of all of the holidays, which, not only do I get to decorate for and celebrate in our new home, but also with this new little person that will make them so much sweeter.
So, my friends, we have a new address for you. If you don't have it yet, and would like it, send me a message, otherwise, I will send it to you when we send out birth announcements (eeeek!). I'm still not sure what exactly God was teaching me in the waiting that was these last two plus years, but I'm grateful. Grateful he didn't forget me even though at times I did feel forgotten, grateful to be on the other side of it, grateful to have had so many praying for us during that time of waiting even though you may not have known exactly what you were praying for, grateful to have so many loved ones so near and already so willing to babysit. Someday I will see more of the "why," probably when life throws something way harder at us, but right now, it feels so good to lay on my couch and to have peace that God really did have a plan all along and excited to watch it continue to unfold.
In His hug,
P.S. If you have any questions about our infertility struggles, how we dealt with it, doctors visits and things like that, I'm not opposed to sharing them with you, I'm just not sure I want to put it all out there on the wide open internet just yet. But, again, feel free to private message me and we can talk.